It’s a wonderful time of year. The weather is cool, then hot. You run the AC, then you turn on the heater. You drive one direction and the sun shines in your eyes, then later, you go home and the sun in glaring in your eyes again.
And today is that spooky time of year in which many celebrate Halloween. I prefer to look at it more like the Detroit Lions on Thanksgiving…its a competition. I would rather get my kids in costume the night before, and practice our gameplan. Fine tune our performance for the big game. This is serious stuff…it’s candy time.
First item, check the costume, is it restricting? comfortable? able to move freely? vision obstructed? If there are any problems, do we need to modify it? Does it allow you to run at full speed? Are you able to carry the sack full? If not, we need to do some more pushups! Kids, this is your moment in the spotlight, it’s time to rise to the occassion! Get your gameface on! Preparation is key to your success. Welcome to life.
We practice at home which is the only halloween trick or treaters we will see because why would anyone waste precious time driving 20 miles to the middle of nowhere. Of course, the fact that we won’t be haunted by these little goblins doesn’t hinder my ability to purchase treats. One never knows what could happen that night. However, it is futile since we will be out in full force obtaining our own treats in this little game so much like life!
Mom is placed in the house and I take the kids for a trial run. We approach the house. Nice jog to the door. Be aware of that over zealous homeowner who has placed spooky items on the porch to give you an added distraction. Look for the doorbell, no doorbell…knock, but you must knock hard so that if it is someone with poor hearing, they hear you. We must maximize our time. As soon as the door begins to open, you speak loudly the traditional phrase, “Trick or Treat”. Time is of the essence, have the bags open, and keep them open prepared for the second offering if that opportunity should occur. And finally, a very nice thank you back to the nice person who just gave up the candy. It’s a routine that must be mastered. Welcome to life.
One must be very observant of the items given during this transaction. Was it chocolate? Was it full size? (rare, I know, but if it does occur, this house will be revisited again tonight!) Was it fruit? If it was fruit, it shall be removed from the bag and given to the closest fellow haunters. No time to waste on fruit. (I know, but this is Halloween! Leave the fruit in the fruitcake at Christmas) This is hustle time, go for the gusto. Welcome to life.
We practice and practice. Just like the coach of a major college team, “Do it AGAIN!” Perfection kids, we will run like a well oiled machine! It’s a tough world out there and you must learn to compete. What better night to teach my kids how to deal in the real world. Welcome to life.
Then, when we get home, more lessons on life…Daddy needs to inspect your candy bags while you are off to bed! The Candy Inspector General analyzes the candy for safety, but also for content. If there are more than six butterfingers, the candy inspector imposes a tax. Welcome to life.